The Merkin

OK, this is not anything new, but a buddy of mine spoke about it the other day and I couldn't stop laughing. The imagery that was going on in my minds eye made me laugh out loud like a little kid does when he hears a dirty word or hears a fart...haha farts are funny...

Anyway, a merkin is a pubic wig, usually made from hair of some sort. I'm not too sure how much real human hair you'd want down there, unless it was yours but then that would defeat the purpose of wearing the merkin. So on second thought, if I was one of those people in need of some extra hair down there, I suppose you'd wear some pre-owned pubes.



And this brings me to another point. It seems the fashion these days is to be 'clean skin' so to speak, or have your, ahem, hair styled into some shape or at least be trimmed. I don't think it would get to the point where you have people getting designer styles and cross fades into their junk, but hey anything is possible. So what becomes then of those unfortunate who can't grow hair? Without the merkin they'd be destined to look like pre-pubescent teenagers, which could possibly pose a moral implication for their lovers.



But without merkins, there would be more R rated movies and less stars would get their 'kit' off for the camera. They use merkins in the movie biz quite a lot to hide actors special bits, so that they can get the shot without showing too much, which would then lead to harsher classifications. More R rated movies means that less of the world's teenagers wouldn't be able to see all the B grade movie tit flicks that we all got to watch.





You see, merkins have a higher purpose. Not only do they keep our bits and bobs warm, they also ensure that our younger generation doesn't miss out on the classic movies that we could see such as The Revenge Of The Nerds, the Porkies series, Screwballs, Meatballs series, and many more. Like I said, the merkin has a higher purpose...